ode to a blind one

i feel like a blind man waiting to see the sunset. before you know it, the sun has set already. but i am still waiting for it. all i felt was a cooling kind of warmth that isnt there. the brightest glare that i cannot stare. with only false hope that keep this heart beating. hope that one day i will be able to see again... with nothing else but my own eyes. and as i see the sun in its goldenest red, i will see you, so beautiful that inspires the sun to shine the way it is. melancholy speaks no words to me. neither does frailty and despair. only a quiet silence that i constitute as hope. a reason so wrong that feels so right.

confused is such undermining the abilities of my mind. i believe i am able to comprehend many things without writ, read and count. the energy flows into my like cold water in a refreshing day. quenching my thirst as it does. but why cant my heart experience the same? dont you know my heart thirst for love as well? from who you ask? i dont know
something? smoeone? somehow? it should belong to me as well. everyone has it...at least a bit of it. why dont i have it tingly like the rest. i live for the feeling of my heart racing, my breath running out and my body floating. better than a drug. no drug can take you that way. the smell of car scent still haunts me. and the taste, your taste of salty payau salt as so. yes! quenches my thirst. fil the emptiness that was missing. but why suc happiness is temporary? WHY DOES EVERYTHING GOOD SEEMS TEMPORARY?!?!

are you judging me? or are you just watching my like a lame tv series that drives along the lines of pain and parody.. and never ends?

why me?