The Ups and Downs of the past Four months

Dear Blogger,

Forgive me for my procrastinations. It's been four months since my last blog-post.

Square

+++++++++++++

Okay! Here's a quick summary of the past four months of my life. In bullet point, no less. We'll start with the negatives.

Square, Theatre Producer: From upstart to total Twat.

I've gone from being an okay theatre producer who started training under one of the best in Malaysia, to being a total twat of a producer who can't even manage employees and my upstart company. In April, Victorian Theatre Company was officially put on sabbatical, which in other words, means that I've lost so much investments this year that I have been forced to shut it down.

Things I did wrong (so many I'll just name three):

- Start programs and plans over the summer of '04 knowing full well that I was going to be away for 9-12 months and leaving it to people who are great individuals in their own right, but lacking the right attitudes and experience in the business.
- Be so overtly optimistic that I thought I could take the world, not one step at a time, but thinking that all negatives were positives waiting to be realised.
- Let down a whole great bunch of young talents with the closure of my most ambitious plan till date - youth.arm.

Result?

I am a twat who should get back down to basics and make coffee for people who know what they are doing, whilst starting to learn old and new things again. Maybe do their fucking laundry too.

Credit: Debit without the 'i'

I've lost so much capital and investments this year, that I have been in the shits for the past four months and will need another 5 to get back into the black. But I'm making amends. Lifestyle changes, prudent spendings; no savings yet, can't afford to.

Result?

What twat of an arsehole can't 'afford to save'? Me. I'm 22, and I still can't save a fucking penny for my own good, not to mention fucking rainy days. It's literally been raining shitstorms. And it's all my own crap.

Working three jobs?

Stupid stupid stupid. I let down 2 out of three employers, one being my ownself. The other, laid me off, nicely, which I am thankful for. I was becoming too much of a liability.

Result?

Don't fucking run when you can't even stand. One step at a time? One job at a time. Just make sure I do it fucking well.

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Now to the positives:

LL.B (Hons.?)

Good news is that I finally drudged through my Law Degree. Now hopefully I will past, with honours. Then at least I know I'm not a 100% good-for-nothing fuckup.

Chefing

I started chefing at the hotel last October with NO relevant experience nor skill nor aptitude. Now, I can gladly say that I'm slightly better than when I started. 4 months of Breakfast shifts and staff food preparations laid down some good basics - timing, basic skills, kitchen etiquette etc. Then I got shifted to Room Service, which was not as challenging, but no less difficult. Then Night Shifts taught me that I can be a total slacker if working alone - procrastination being the word - and how important it is to work in a team.

But now, the Head Pastry chef has taken me under his wing, and although I'm still the 'ruddy kitchen chef', I'm making amends, unlearning all the bad habits I picked up as a kitchen chef and mastering new skills and better basics. Here's what I know to be unequivocally important in any kitchen:
- No fucking Blaring Radio.
- You work in shit, you cook shit.
- Mise-en-place is the holy grail of any kitchen.
- Always taste what you cook and season accordingly.
- Focus, dedication and passion are the ingredients for a good chef.
- Tardiness is not.
- Respect begets respects.

Much more stuff as well.

I'm glad to say that I'm loving being a pastry chef - though I do miss the heat and chaos of the main kitchen. But I think it's for the better, this way I learn how to be better organised, how to work well as an individual and a team, as well as understand that cooking really is as much science as it is passion and art.

That's all for now. Just watched Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares and feel very inspired as a chef. Will this be a career? I don't know. What I do know is that if it is, I will make damn sure that I be one of the very best.

Ciao.