Oh, To Have The Strength To Not Care.
Quick recap of the last 10 minutes:
Landlord's nephew came over to collect rent - neither of us, Erica and Me, had the cash in hand, or in the bank.
Resorted to writing post-dated cheques for Wednesday, my TT would come in by Tuesday latest, her's God knows.
Erica's having her monthly and looking so ill, a Green monster covered with Puke would come across as Muhammed Ali, pre-Parkinsons.
I know she's worried. I know she's resigned to the fact that Shit always happens to her, with regards to Money and Transportation. Well, no, Life in general I guess. I've always been there to help, support, salve. Funny thing is that in this new-era of Exclusion, I still find myself wanting to help, support, salve.
Oh, to have the strength to not care. To be an ignoramus to her troubles, woes and problems. To have the conviction to live up to the title of Ex-Boyfriend a.k.a. the Excluded One.
Sigh.
2 Comments:
I've been sleeping with a psychotic bitch for the past 2 years! Somebody should come lock her up, throw away the goddamned keys and then focus a single trickle of water to drop onto her forehead constantly, for eternity.
If you're wondering, "What the Fuck?", let me explain. Erica came in about half hour ago, half asleep, half awake, rather delirious, and said, full of conviction, " I think my parents are going to join Karan (her dead brother) today."
How and what do you respond to something as random and morbid as that? I don't mind the morbid-factor. It's the random quip and subsequently retirement to her room to continue sleeping that really disturbs me.
In retrospect, (hindsight, hah!), I'm glad I'm still alive. She could have murdered me and kept it secret easily; or worse still, do a Bobbitt on me. Fucking crock pot loonie!
And no, I am not drunk! I may be overreacting, but Hell, wouldn't you? I've seen her strange this way before, usually happens when she's troubled, worried, unhappy etc. But not so bad. Fucking mental!
Someone just commented that I have issues. Yah, I've got issues. I've been sleeping with a mental psychotic cheating lying bitch for 2 years. I deserve to have issues!
[This comment was transferred from the main blog, for aesthetic purposes.]
By square, at 1:30 AM
I don't think I truly mean everything I said, especially the personal attacks against her. I certainly feel it sometimes, but rationally, I doubt I mean all of it. Am generally slightly calmer now. Have to get back to my Fucking symposium paper.
This comment was also transferred from the main blog, for aesthetic purposes.]
By square, at 1:31 AM
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